24 March 2024

Hi,

Welcome to the restarting of my weekly updates. I did a series of these on my Substack a few years ago, where I just noted what I had been reading for the past week, along with a brief review of the book/article. It’s always difficult to be consistent with writing these weekly updates, and I’m not making any promises about how long these updates will go for. But my hope is that these updates will be a record of my work and my thinking, and will motivate me to keep working diligently.

One of the things that I have been thinking a lot about recently is slowing down. There was a time in my life when I felt like a productivity monster – I was juggling a full time course load at two different graduate programs (one at Gateway Seminary, and one at the Kaiser Permanente School of Anesthesia), writing two different curriculums for classes at church, as well as exercising regularly, and spending time with my family. But I find myself struggling to work at even a fraction at that pace now.

I first enrolled in seminary during my last year of anesthesia school because I was burnt out by the training process. I felt that I was too far along in the program to quit, and the financial payoff of becoming a nurse anesthetist was very enticing. But I was convinced that I didn’t really like anesthesia, and that I couldn’t see myself giving anesthesia as a full time job. Instead, what I was really interested in was theology. I would bring papers into the OR, and while my attendings thought I was reading the latest articles on anesthesia, I was actually reading theology journals. Thus, I saw seminary as an escape from anesthesia. I showed up to the hospital because I had to. I read and wrote exegesis (theology) papers because I enjoyed it.

Fast forward a year and a half later, and I find myself a little in the opposite situation. It turns out that when you’re no longer free labor at hospitals, when you’re titled and paid as a nurse anesthetist, anesthesia is a heck of a lot better. But now I find that doing the work for seminary has become a lot more of a chore. Every week, I find myself scrambling to finish my Greek and Hebrew homework on time, doing just barely enough to pass my classes without cultivating a deeper appreciation or love of the languages.

I’ve been reflecting on the reversal of my feelings toward seminary and theology, and I would pin it on two things:

I’m doing too much. Learning both Greek and Hebrew at the same time is extremely difficult. Originally, I envisioned myself dedicating some time each day to working on both languages. But in reality, what actually ends up happening is that I do Hebrew for half the week, and then Greek for the other half of the week. While thinking about multiple things at once may work when the subjects are New Testament, Old Testament, and Biblical Hermeneutics, it doesn’t work as well when the subjects are as different as Hebrew and Greek.
I don’t enjoy the process of learning Hebrew and Greek. When I first enrolled in seminary, all those classes were escapes from my daily life. But now that they’ve turned into the primary source of my focus and efforts, I find them enjoyable.

I think the solution is to cut down on what I’m doing, so that I can give full attention to the responsibilities that I have. I read a book a long time ago called [The Motivation Myth], and one of the things that the book talks about is that waiting around for motivation to strike is not a good way to get things done. Rather, the better we get at something, the more likely we are to like it. So if I want to like the languages, then I should pay more attention to them.

Favorite Things

Podcast – I listened to the [first episode] of a new podcast from LeBron James and JJ Redick, Mind the Game. One of the things that really caught my ear was when LeBron James talked about what makes a great basketball player. There are lots of talented players who will never make it into the NBA, let alone win a championship or become the MVP. But in order to stick around in the NBA, they have to enjoy the process of getting better.

Book – [The Second World War] by Antony Beevor. I finally finished reading this 881-page book. I know bits and pieces about World War II, but Beevor highlights the significance of lesser known conflict zones, such as the impact that the battles in Southeast Asia had on the main conflict in the Pacific Ocean.